Just back from the Teenage Fanclub gig, and an excellent night of festivites up in Glasgow, where, not only have the bellshill byrds proved their positon in the musical universe as the third best band EVER! (after duran duran and the manics, of course), but i have also been witness to, possibly the best chat up line ever produced and drunkenly executed anywhere, anytime, and maybe, of all time.
After getting dropped off just about 4 in the heart of the city i wondered what the hell could i get up to, to keep me occupied for a few hours until colin made it up?
then i thought, CAPITOL, £1.50 a pint, £1 a bottle of beer,sunshine, table outside, what more do you need?
Quite happy to sit myself, i bought myself a wee pack of 1o menthols and the newest nme and started to sit and soak in the sunshine, soon realising that people had already started enjoying the cheap booze.
3 guys at one table started passing merry, harmful banter to 3 young ladies at another table and the next two hours and 4 or 5 pints flew by in no time. i never felt as i was on my own once. not that i usually do.
Anyway this aint a biography of the whole day, and im not introducing the characters involved….so straight on to the chat line.
The main big guy, who was casually funny in an in our face, but not annoying way, and having already spent a good hour asking and forgetting the girls names, suddenly turned round to them and loudly asked……………….
……………..HOW MUCH DOES POLAR BEAR WEIGH?
“what?” one of the girls responded, not quite sure if she heard him right, “how much does a what weight????”
“HOW MUCH DOES A POLAR BEAR WEIGH????” he once again asked,
“eh…..i dont know” replied the girl, perplexed, to say the least.
“ah, neither do i ” said the big man as he started to stand up from his table and move towards theirs………………………….
…………….”BUT IT BREAKS THE ICE!!!!!!””””……
“……………..MY NAMESSSSSSS…………………” then he stuck out his hand and humoursly tried to, once again introduce himself ha,
i groaned “oh dear” as a spluttered into my pint, and realised in some mad kind of way, thats possibly the best chat up line ive ever heard.
but you never know.
so good was the pre drinking i’ll save the review of teenage fanclub for tomorrow, only to say that i turned to colin at one point during the gig saying “my theses on the fannies and why music makes the world a beter place is already forming in my fragile little mind”
as the ever youthfull fannies say ” i’ll never know which way to flow, set a course that i dont know!”
these guys are my sunshine after the rain!